And so begins a new feature I’d like to call “Bars I Hate But Keep Frequenting”.  

Back in St. Olaf, finding yourself drunk in the library was all part of a campus tour.  At the U of M, it’s part of some sick college mating ritual.

I basically have gotten everyone I know to admit that they actually do in fact hate the Library bar in dinkytown yet I’d be ashamed to and will not admit how many $1.50 rail drinks I consumed there this summer.  The crowd is douchey, fratty, and hopefully at least 18 just like anywhere in dinkytown.  

Plus, every Wednesday night they make fun of the poor.

But wait, you say, “$1 Miller High Life Tall Boys?”  

Yes sir, one of the only places you can find yourself trashed and only $10 lighter.  The catch is that you’ll need to get that drunk in order to calm your anxiety about how many strangers keep touching you as you navigate the mass of northface fleeces and forever21 tanks and attempt to politely reject the kinesiology major who insists on teaching you how to dougie.  The one guy who is always enjoying himself is “that guy” in the Vikings jersey on the live feed of the basement dance floor.  Everyone laughs, but trust me, $3 later and they will all be acting as if they’ve never heard “Don’t Stop Believing” play at a bar before.

Next in the series: Bar Abeline.